Do you ever feel off your game spiritually? Like what God has for you has slipped through your fingers and is further than ever? Whether you think so or not, we all fall. But what is of more importance is how we steady ourselves and move forward.
Sometimes we really can get down on ourselves for things that happen in the past. Looking back on the past few years of my life, I'm disappointed. In the fifth grade, I prayed at an event called "Fill the Hill." This was held at Citadel Hill. Churches from around Halifax came to pray for the city. All I can say is - wow. Just remembering how much I was on fire for God amazes me. I was young, innocent and living life to its fullest.
Then glorious Junior High came. And let me tell you, life was no longer playing tag with your buddies and running around with a silly grin on your face. My relationships became very negative. I had troubles with anger, getting into fights, my school work also wasn't up to par. Above all, my problem was a real apathetic attitude about life in general.
One thing I did care about though was my Dad. If anyone doesn't know who my Dad is, here's a brief observation: An amazing man of God, who always gets the job done. (At work and at home.) Practically everyone knows him and loves him because of his upbeat personality. The amount of pressure and expectations there are to overcome and live up to are massive. Sure, people tell me there's none but regardless, it's still there. I really felt like I was letting him down.
Now came the second of three marvelous years, grade 8. The fights and stuff like that died down. But I was still living like any other person my age, just getting by. Extremely discouraged from what I missed and could have done in the past year. Still searching for something more, looking for a change.
So I'm at Shiloh on a Monday night, not particularly interested or captivated by anything. Just thinking about a late assignment I'll get yelled at for the following day. Pastor Mike gets up to the mic and gives some announcements. He said that there would be a missions trip to Las Vegas during the March break. At that moment my face illuminated with excitement. This was the opportunity I had been waiting for!
Fast forward a month or two. I have now applied and been excepted for the Las Vegas team. The tickets were bought, everything was set. And I was thinking to myself - what have I got myself into?! The devil was really getting on my case, getting into my head with discouragement. "Look at you. Your life's still in ruin. There's no room for screw ups on this trip." Right then, something clicked inside of me. To this day I don't know what it was but I'm thankful for it. A word came back to me from one of the leaders at Shiloh. "God doesn't focus on the past. He doesn't focus on the should haves and could haves. He focuses on where you are now." Folks, I took that quote and ran with it all the way to Las Vegas, Nevada. Determined and motivated that I was going to come back changed. God revealed himself, and reminded me how powerful he really is.
Maybe you're past hasn't been good. Maybe you've fallen. Always remember, it's not what you should have done, but what you will do, not what you've lost, but what you'll gain. Motivate yourself! Get determined and believe that your future will be successful, you'll find what you've been looking for. What God has for you.
