Back to the Basics

Not so long ago I was inspired to begin blogging once again. The source of inspiration is a novel in itself. My intent is not to bore you to tears with my first entry; therefore I will do my best to be articulate, accurate and straight forward.

The majority of my high school career was a blur of mixed emotions and uncertainties. During the summer of Grade nine I experienced God in a genuine way. I was determined to be strong. My desire was to stand firm throughout my last three years of school. Little did I know that I would shortly forsake and forget all truth. I was a prime target of the enemy. I was taken captive.

To be brief, I was overwhelmed with a sense of abandonment when my two and only close friends deserted our church along with their families. I was aware of the circumstances but they mattered little to me. At that moment I felt utterly alone. My school friends became the majority influence on my life. I felt like I fit in better with them.

The change in company catapulted me into things I said I would never do, places I said I’d never go. I began using marijuana late in my grade ten year. Flirting with dope birthed a dependency on feelings of a euphoric nature. By this time I also had girl friend which added to the sense of well being and fulfillment I was pursuing. Our relationship lasted approximately eighteen months. Upon the break up and even prior to the end, my drug use escalated. Depression and anger consumed my life.

I remember the night which marked the start of my journey back to the Lord. At my worst emotional state I went to a cupboard in my kitchen and removed a wide array of medications. I proceeded to ingest many pills; I remember taking huge amounts of cough syrup as well. I took in a substantial amount initially but this wasn’t enough. I proceeded to crush up more pills and parachute them with small segments of paper towel. What came over me that night I cannot describe. When all this was done all I could say was “Well, if that was too much only God can help me now.” I then left to meet up with a friend and smoke a couple of joints.

I ended up taking myself to the hospital later that night only to be sent home. Prior to arriving there I had been very worried. I was extremely high but I feared it may have been too much for my body to handle. Between the dosages and combination it is a miracle that I am alive. Through this experience and many other revelations I was reminded of God’s unfailing love for me. I have been radically changed. I’ll never go back to where I was. Living for Christ is challenging at times, but it’s worth it!

I enjoy comparing my story to that of the life and conversion of Saul (Acts 9.) This portion of scripture clearly depicts Saul as a man who was eager to kill the Lord’s followers. One day as he traveled towards Damascus, Christ got a hold him. One of the greatest transformations ever took place that day. Formerly known as Saul, The Apostle “Paul” would go on to write the vast majority of the New Testament. To this day he is a reminder of the darkness from which I was spared.

Do I still struggle? Of course! Life is a journey, a progressive one at that. Paul himself said it best in one of his epistles.

“I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right,
but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate. (Romans 7:15, NLT.)

Yes we struggle with things, but we must not live in a continual cycle of condemnation! You are a sinner. You were born into a sinful world. You're not a sinner because you sin, you sin because you're a sinner by nature! Yet through Christ you have been saved, redeemed and restored! Where sin once abounded… The grace of your heavenly Father now abounds all the more! (Romans 5:20)

Therefore rather then dwelling on the past, we must come to a realization of what we possess in and through Christ. It is only because of him that we have been saved. Through HIM we have the potential and the power to change, to be more than conquerors! 

In Philippians we have yet another context where Paul says it best:

“I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead. I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us." (Philippians 3:12, NLT.)

I am unsure of what you are going through. Maybe your relationships are out of whack; maybe you are bound by addiction like I was. It could be anything. May I encourage you? Where your sin or circumstance abounds, the Lord’s love and grace for YOU abounds all the more. It’s time to forget the past and refocus. You are saved by grace! Get back in the race. Get back to the basics.

Past = Motivation = Successful Future

Do you ever feel off your game spiritually? Like what God has for you has slipped through your fingers and is further than ever? Whether you think so or not, we all fall. But what is of more importance is how we steady ourselves and move forward.

Sometimes we really can get down on ourselves for things that happen in the past. Looking back on the past few years of my life, I'm disappointed. In the fifth grade, I prayed at an event called "Fill the Hill." This was held at Citadel Hill. Churches from around Halifax came to pray for the city. All I can say is - wow. Just remembering how much I was on fire for God amazes me. I was young, innocent and living life to its fullest.

Then glorious Junior High came. And let me tell you, life was no longer playing tag with your buddies and running around with a silly grin on your face. My relationships became very negative. I had troubles with anger, getting into fights, my school work also wasn't up to par. Above all, my problem was a real apathetic attitude about life in general.

One thing I did care about though was my Dad. If anyone doesn't know who my Dad is, here's a brief observation: An amazing man of God, who always gets the job done. (At work and at home.) Practically everyone knows him and loves him because of his upbeat personality. The amount of pressure and expectations there are to overcome and live up to are massive. Sure, people tell me there's none but regardless, it's still there. I really felt like I was letting him down.
Now came the second of three marvelous years, grade 8. The fights and stuff like that died down. But I was still living like any other person my age, just getting by. Extremely discouraged from what I missed and could have done in the past year. Still searching for something more, looking for a change.

So I'm at Shiloh on a Monday night, not particularly interested or captivated by anything. Just thinking about a late assignment I'll get yelled at for the following day. Pastor Mike gets up to the mic and gives some announcements. He said that there would be a missions trip to Las Vegas during the March break. At that moment my face illuminated with excitement. This was the opportunity I had been waiting for!

Fast forward a month or two. I have now applied and been excepted for the Las Vegas team. The tickets were bought, everything was set. And I was thinking to myself - what have I got myself into?! The devil was really getting on my case, getting into my head with discouragement. "Look at you. Your life's still in ruin. There's no room for screw ups on this trip." Right then, something clicked inside of me. To this day I don't know what it was but I'm thankful for it. A word came back to me from one of the leaders at Shiloh. "God doesn't focus on the past. He doesn't focus on the should haves and could haves. He focuses on where you are now." Folks, I took that quote and ran with it all the way to Las Vegas, Nevada. Determined and motivated that I was going to come back changed. God revealed himself, and reminded me how powerful he really is.

Maybe you're past hasn't been good. Maybe you've fallen. Always remember, it's not what you should have done, but what you will do, not what you've lost, but what you'll gain. Motivate yourself! Get determined and believe that your future will be successful, you'll find what you've been looking for. What God has for you.